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Healthy relationships are sometimes lukewarm—and both parties need to understand that.12.The willingness to choose “influencing” instead of “controlling.”This means that after saying something once, they let it go.It also means that they choose to display their values by acting as a role-model, rather than nagging you (or others) to change.13. This is especially important if you feel like losing yourself in the other person.

That's why "love at first sight" scares me sh*tless.

Then I fell in love with a man because all we did was laugh and get along—and we are still together.17. We should look for someone who will stick around and discuss what’s wrong, and then is willing to work as a team to come up with a plan to fix it.18. A sense of reciprocity, or “give and take,” is critical to a healthy relationship.

We must be willing to make sacrifices now and then.

He is not who I was looking for until I realized what was really going to make me happy over a lifetime. Susan Peabody has been trying to help people with her writing since 1985 when she discovered that she was a love addict and did not have a clue about healthy relationships.

She is the author of Addiction to Love, The Art of Changing, Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants and her allegory Where Love Abides.

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